would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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