so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize