Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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