Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize