wat bout pragnant strippers??
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
She's like a pop up book from hell.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
The Olympian is in my bed
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
