ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
