I wannas sexs uuuuu
Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
