You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize