I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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