Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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