i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Randomize
