I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
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