But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
