I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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