i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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