my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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