so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
how does that bad decision feel?
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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