im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
