My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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