id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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