is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
