Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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