shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
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