So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
