Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Randomize
