No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Someone shattered a urinal.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
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