google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
