I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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