i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Randomize
