dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
