We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
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