There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
