walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
