I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Don't tell me you're on acid again
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
The adults are the big ones right?
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
