Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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