i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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