first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
