Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
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