at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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