Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
