why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
