hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
