Why are handjobs necessary in class?
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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