I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
