Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
