hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
