I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Randomize
