Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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