Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
whose parrot is this?
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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