I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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