if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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