Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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