Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize