am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
