I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Randomize