why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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