Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
