have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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