I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
