shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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