Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
