rhymes with "ouble enetration"
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
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