Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Randomize
